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Blackadder's Christmas Carol sound clips

Blackadder's Christmas Carol (1988)

"Give me something nice and shiny! And if you don't, I've got something nice and shiny for you and it's called an axe!"

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Queen Elizabeth:"Give me something nice and shiny! And if you don't, I've got something nice and shiny for you and it's called an axe!"

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"My best wishes to your massive offspring!"

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Ebenezer Blackadder:"My best wishes to your massive offspring!"

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"May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down."

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Lord Melchett:"May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down."

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"Any last requests, Blackadder, before I chop your block off and put it on top of the crimble tree?"

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Queen Elizabeth:"Any last requests, Blackadder, before I chop your block off and put it on top of the crimble tree?"

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"Shall I begin the Christmas story?" Prince George:"Absolutely, as long as it's not that terribly depressing one about the chap who gets born on Christmas Day, shoots his mouth off about everything under the sun, and then comes a cropper with a couple of rum coves on top of a hill in Johnny Arab land." Edmund Blackadder:"You mean Jesus?" Prince George:"Yes, that's the fellow! Keep him out of it. He always spoils the X-mas atmos!"

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Edmund Blackadder:"Shall I begin the Christmas story?"
Prince George:"Absolutely, as long as it's not that terribly depressing one about the chap who gets born on Christmas Day, shoots his mouth off about everything under the sun, and then comes a cropper with a couple of rum coves on top of a hill in Johnny Arab land."
Edmund Blackadder:"You mean Jesus?"
Prince George:"Yes, that's the fellow! Keep him out of it. He always spoils the X-mas atmos!"

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"I detect from your accent, sir, that you are not from around here." Prince Albert:"Ah, nein. I am from Glasgow."

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Ebenezer Blackadder:"I detect from your accent, sir, that you are not from around here."
Prince Albert:"Ah, nein. I am from Glasgow."

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"Greetings! I trust that Christmas brings you it's traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp."

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Edmund Blackadder:"Greetings! I trust that Christmas brings you it's traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp."

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"In the 'feeling good' ledger of life, we are rich indeed!" Baldrick:"Yeah, I just wish we weren't doing so well in the 'bit short of prezzies and feeling a gullible prat' ledger."

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Ebenezer Blackadder:"In the 'feeling good' ledger of life, we are rich indeed!"
Baldrick:"Yeah, I just wish we weren't doing so well in the 'bit short of prezzies and feeling a gullible prat' ledger."

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"Ill conceived love, I should warn you, is like a Christmas cracker. One massively disappointing bang, and the novelty soon wears off."

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Ebenezer Blackadder:"Ill conceived love, I should warn you, is like a Christmas cracker. One massively disappointing bang, and the novelty soon wears off."

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"You got anything for me?" Edmund Blackadder:"Oh, it's nothing really." Baldrick:"Oh sir." Edmund Blackadder:"No, it's really nothing. I haven't got anything."

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Baldrick:"You got anything for me?"
Edmund Blackadder:"Oh, it's nothing really."
Baldrick:"Oh sir."
Edmund Blackadder:"No, it's really nothing. I haven't got anything."

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"God bless Mister B. at Christmastime, and baby Jesus too. If we were little pigs we'd sing "Piggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-woo. Oh, piggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-woo. Oh, piggy wiggy wiggy woo. Piggy-wiggy-woo. Oh, pig wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-woo!"

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Christmas Carolers:"God bless Mister B. at Christmastime, and baby Jesus too. If we were little pigs we'd sing "Piggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-woo. Oh, piggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-woo. Oh, piggy wiggy wiggy woo. Piggy-wiggy-woo. Oh, pig wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-woo!"

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"Being ruler of the universe is not what it's cracked up to be. There's the long hours. I mean, you wave at people the whole time. You're no longer your own boss."

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Spirit of Christmas:"Being ruler of the universe is not what it's cracked up to be. There's the long hours. I mean, you wave at people the whole time. You're no longer your own boss."

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"Size isn't important my friend. It's not what you've got, it's where you stick it."

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Ebenezer Blackadder:"Size isn't important my friend. It's not what you've got, it's where you stick it."

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"God, that woman's about as subtle as a rhinoceros horn up the backside."

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Edmund Blackadder:"God, that woman's about as subtle as a rhinoceros horn up the backside."

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"You wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing 'Subtle plans are here again!'"

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Edmund Blackadder:"You wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing 'Subtle plans are here again!'"

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"I should have known not to trust a man with a mental agility of a rabbit dropping."

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Edmund Blackadder:"I should have known not to trust a man with a mental agility of a rabbit dropping."

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"I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large you'd think it's mother had been rogered by an omnibus."

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Ebenezer Blackadder:"I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large you'd think it's mother had been rogered by an omnibus."

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"I want a prezzy!"

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Queen Elizabeth:"I want a prezzy!"

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"I'm not convinced that Christianity would have established its firm grip over the hearts and minds of mankind, if all Jesus had ever said was 'woof'."

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Ebenezer Blackadder:"I'm not convinced that Christianity would have established its firm grip over the hearts and minds of mankind, if all Jesus had ever said was 'woof'."

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"Greetings! I trust that Christmas brings you it's traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp." Lord Melchet:"And compliments of the season to you, Blackadder. May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down."

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Edmund Blackadder:"Greetings! I trust that Christmas brings you it's traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp."
Lord Melchet:"And compliments of the season to you, Blackadder. May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down."

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