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"Could you please not do anything awful, for 5 seconds?"

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Could you please not do anything awful, for 5 seconds?"

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"You know, the question I get asked the most often is 'Tony, how do you go to the bathroom in the suit?'... Just like that."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You know, the question I get asked the most often is 'Tony, how do you go to the bathroom in the suit?'... Just like that."

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"Give me a phat beat to beat my buddy's ass too."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Give me a phat beat to beat my buddy's ass too."

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"They're coming in hot, any second. What's the play?" Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Well we want to take the high ground, ok? So let's put the biggest gun up on that ridge." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Gotcha. Where do you wanna be?" Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Where are you going?" Tony Stark (Iron Man):"What are you talking about?" Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"I meant me." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You have a 'big gun', you are not the 'big gun'." Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Tony, don't be jealous." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"It's subtle, all the bells and whistles." Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Yeah, it's called being a bad ass." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Fine."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"They're coming in hot, any second. What's the play?"
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Well we want to take the high ground, ok? So let's put the biggest gun up on that ridge."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Gotcha. Where do you wanna be?"
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Where are you going?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"What are you talking about?"
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"I meant me."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You have a 'big gun', you are not the 'big gun'."
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Tony, don't be jealous."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"It's subtle, all the bells and whistles."
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Yeah, it's called being a bad ass."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Fine."

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"If you can make God bleed, then people will cease to believe in him, and there will be blood in the water, and the sharks will come."

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Ivan Vanko (Whiplash):"If you can make God bleed, then people will cease to believe in him, and there will be blood in the water, and the sharks will come."

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"It appears that the continued use of the Iron Man suit is accelerating your condition."

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Jarvis:"It appears that the continued use of the Iron Man suit is accelerating your condition."

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"Sir, the reactor has accepted the modified core. I will begin running diagnostics."

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Jarvis:"Sir, the reactor has accepted the modified core. I will begin running diagnostics."

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"You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy."

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"Is that dirty enough for you?"

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Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"Is that dirty enough for you?"

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"I swear to God, I'll dismantle you. I'll soak your motherboard. I'll turn you into a wine rack."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I swear to God, I'll dismantle you. I'll soak your motherboard. I'll turn you into a wine rack."

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"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the doughnut!"

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Nick Fury:"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the doughnut!"

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"Look, I'm no expert..." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"In prostitution, of course not. You're a senator. Come on!"

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Senator Stern:"Look, I'm no expert..."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"In prostitution, of course not. You're a senator. Come on!"

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"Claridge Hi-Tec, semi-automatic, 9-millimeter pistol. Too downtown? I agree. M24 shotgun, pump action. Five-round magazine. You know what? You're not a hunter. What am I talking about? I'm getting rid of it. This is the FN-2000 from Belgium. They do make something better than waffles. It's beautiful, but I can tell this isn't disco enough for you, so I'm gonna put it right here. You're looking at a Milkor 40-millimeter grenade launcher. Tear gas, smoke. Hippie control. You're tough. Let me tell you something. Size does matter. Don't let anyone tell you different. This is an M134 7.62 Minigun. Six individual barrels. The torso taker, powder maker. Our boys in uniform call it Uncle Gazpacho, or Puff the Magic Dragon. Okay. These are the Cubans, baby. This is the Cohibas, the Montecristos. This is a kinetic-kill, side-winder vehicle with a secondary cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine RDX burst. It's capable of busting a bunker under the bunker you just busted. If it were any smarter, it'd write a book, a book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. It would read it to you. This is my Eiffel Tower. This is my Rachmaninoff's Third. My Pieta. It's completely elegant, it's bafflingly beautiful, and it's capable of reducing the population of any standing structure to zero. I call it 'The Ex-Wife'."

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Justin Hammer:"Claridge Hi-Tec, semi-automatic, 9-millimeter pistol. Too downtown? I agree. M24 shotgun, pump action. Five-round magazine. You know what? You're not a hunter. What am I talking about? I'm getting rid of it. This is the FN-2000 from Belgium. They do make something better than waffles. It's beautiful, but I can tell this isn't disco enough for you, so I'm gonna put it right here. You're looking at a Milkor 40-millimeter grenade launcher. Tear gas, smoke. Hippie control. You're tough. Let me tell you something. Size does matter. Don't let anyone tell you different. This is an M134 7.62 Minigun. Six individual barrels. The torso taker, powder maker. Our boys in uniform call it Uncle Gazpacho, or Puff the Magic Dragon. Okay. These are the Cubans, baby. This is the Cohibas, the Montecristos. This is a kinetic-kill, side-winder vehicle with a secondary cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine RDX burst. It's capable of busting a bunker under the bunker you just busted. If it were any smarter, it'd write a book, a book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. It would read it to you. This is my Eiffel Tower. This is my Rachmaninoff's Third. My Pieta. It's completely elegant, it's bafflingly beautiful, and it's capable of reducing the population of any standing structure to zero. I call it 'The Ex-Wife'."

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"I took your stuff. How's that make you feel? Do you feel bad? Good, because that's how I feel!"

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Justin Hammer:"I took your stuff. How's that make you feel? Do you feel bad? Good, because that's how I feel!"

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"Get out!"

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Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Get out!"

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"You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape."

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Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape."

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"You come from a family of thieves and butchers, and like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your own history."

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Ivan Vanko (Whiplash):"You come from a family of thieves and butchers, and like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your own history."

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"Where's Happy?" Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"He's waiting outside." Pepper Potts:"Ok, get him. I need Happy." Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"Right away."

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Pepper Potts:"Where's Happy?"
Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"He's waiting outside."
Pepper Potts:"Ok, get him. I need Happy."
Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"Right away."

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"I gotta say, it's hard to get a read on you."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I gotta say, it's hard to get a read on you."

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"Get ready for a major remodel fellas. We're back in hardware mode."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Get ready for a major remodel fellas. We're back in hardware mode."

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"Wake up! Daddy's home!"

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Wake up! Daddy's home!"

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"I had this flown in from San Francisco. It's Italian though. Organic ice cream."

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Justin Hammer:"I had this flown in from San Francisco. It's Italian though. Organic ice cream."

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"I need your impression." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You have a quiet reserve. I don't know, you're an old soul..." Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"I meant your fingerprint."

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Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"I need your impression."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You have a quiet reserve. I don't know, you're an old soul..."
Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"I meant your fingerprint."

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"I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. You can't have it."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. You can't have it."

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"Unfortunately the device that's keeping you alive is also killing you."

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Jarvis:"Unfortunately the device that's keeping you alive is also killing you."

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"You spoke to me with what you did. And I know that you knew that I'd be listening."

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Justin Hammer:"You spoke to me with what you did. And I know that you knew that I'd be listening."

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"We need you." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yeah. More than you know." Agent Coulson:"Not that much."

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Agent Coulson:"We need you."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yeah. More than you know."
Agent Coulson:"Not that much."

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"I thought you were out of one-liners." Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"That's the last one."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I thought you were out of one-liners."
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"That's the last one."

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"You are hereby ordered to appear before the Senate Armed Services Committee tomorrow morning at 9am."

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Process Server:"You are hereby ordered to appear before the Senate Armed Services Committee tomorrow morning at 9am."

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"Funny how annoying a little prick can be, isn't it?"

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Senator Stern:"Funny how annoying a little prick can be, isn't it?"

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"I have successfully privatized world peace!"

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I have successfully privatized world peace!"

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"You think you're making a problem for me? I'm going to make a problem for you. I'm going to be seeing you real soon."

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Justin Hammer:"You think you're making a problem for me? I'm going to make a problem for you. I'm going to be seeing you real soon."

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"You are mind blowingly duplicitous. How do you do it? You just tear things, you're a triple impostor, I've never seen anything like it. Is there anything real about you?"

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You are mind blowingly duplicitous. How do you do it? You just tear things, you're a triple impostor, I've never seen anything like it. Is there anything real about you?"

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"I don't know if you know this, but I don't speak Russian!"

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Justin Hammer:"I don't know if you know this, but I don't speak Russian!"

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"Do you have the sniffles? I don't want to get sick."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Do you have the sniffles? I don't want to get sick."

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"Hey, hey, hey! Special delivery!"

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Justin Hammer:"Hey, hey, hey! Special delivery!"

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"You know Christine Everheart, from Vanity Fair? You guys know each other?" Pepper Potts:"Hi!" Christine Everheart:"Yes." Pepper Potts:"Yes." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yes, roughly." Pepper Potts:"Yes we do, roughly." Justin Hammer:"Btw, the big story, the new CEO of Stark Industries. Congratulations." Christine Everheart:"I know. I know, and my editor will kill me if I don't grab a quote for our powerful women issue." Pepper Potts:"Oh, sure." Justin Hammer:"She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know." Christine Everheart:"Yes." Pepper Potts:"Well she did quite a spread on Tony last year." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"And she wrote a story as well." Pepper Potts:"It was very impressive." Tony Stark (Iron Man):"That was good." Pepper Potts:"It was very well done."

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Justin Hammer:"You know Christine Everheart, from Vanity Fair? You guys know each other?"
Pepper Potts:"Hi!"
Christine Everheart:"Yes."
Pepper Potts:"Yes."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yes, roughly."
Pepper Potts:"Yes we do, roughly."
Justin Hammer:"Btw, the big story, the new CEO of Stark Industries. Congratulations."
Christine Everheart:"I know. I know, and my editor will kill me if I don't grab a quote for our powerful women issue."
Pepper Potts:"Oh, sure."
Justin Hammer:"She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know."
Christine Everheart:"Yes."
Pepper Potts:"Well she did quite a spread on Tony last year."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"And she wrote a story as well."
Pepper Potts:"It was very impressive."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"That was good."
Pepper Potts:"It was very well done."

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"I've been authorized by Directory Fury to use any means necessary to keep you on premises. If you attempt to leave, or play any games, I will taze you and watch 'Supernanny' while you drool into the carpet."

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Agent Coulson:"I've been authorized by Directory Fury to use any means necessary to keep you on premises. If you attempt to leave, or play any games, I will taze you and watch 'Supernanny' while you drool into the carpet."

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"Looks like a TKO to me."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Looks like a TKO to me."

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"Trust me, I know. I'm good at this stuff."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Trust me, I know. I'm good at this stuff."

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"I want one." Pepper Potts:"No."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I want one."
Pepper Potts:"No."

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"Let the record reflect that I observed Mister Hammer entering the chamber, and I am wondering if, and when, any actual expert will also be in attendance."

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Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Let the record reflect that I observed Mister Hammer entering the chamber, and I am wondering if, and when, any actual expert will also be in attendance."

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