"Miss Pascal, what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist?"
Ana Pascal:"You mean, am I a member..."
Harold Crick:"An anarchist group, yes."
Ana Pascal:"Anarchists have a group?"
Harold Crick:"I believe so, sure."
Ana Pascal:"They assemble?"
Harold Crick:"Uh I don't know."
Ana Pascal:"Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose?"
Harold Crick:"Miss Pascal, what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist?" Ana Pascal:"You mean, am I a member..." Harold Crick:"An anarchist group, yes." Ana Pascal:"Anarchists have a group?" Harold Crick:"I believe so, sure." Ana Pascal:"They assemble?" Harold Crick:"Uh I don't know." Ana Pascal:"Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose?"
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Actually it should only take the day to make sure 22 percent is all you owe."
Ana Pascal:"Well I won't be paying, no matter the percentage Mr. Crick."
Harold Crick:"No I know, but the percent determines how big your cell is."
Harold Crick:"Actually it should only take the day to make sure 22 percent is all you owe." Ana Pascal:"Well I won't be paying, no matter the percentage Mr. Crick." Harold Crick:"No I know, but the percent determines how big your cell is."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?"
Harold Crick:"I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent."
Dr. Jules Hilbert:"Well that sounds like a comedy."
Dr. Jules Hilbert:"Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?" Harold Crick:"I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent." Dr. Jules Hilbert:"Well that sounds like a comedy."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Harold suddenly found himself, beleaguered and exasperated, outside the bakery."
Harold Crick:"Shut up!"
Kay Eiffel:"Cursing the heavens in futility."
Harold Crick:"No I'm not! I'm cursing you! You stupid voice! So shutup and leave me alone!"
Kay Eiffel:"Harold suddenly found himself, beleaguered and exasperated, outside the bakery." Harold Crick:"Shut up!" Kay Eiffel:"Cursing the heavens in futility." Harold Crick:"No I'm not! I'm cursing you! You stupid voice! So shutup and leave me alone!"
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Little did he know that this simple seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death."
Harold Crick:"What? What? Hey! Hello?! What?! Why?! Why my death?! Hello?! Excuse me?! When?! How imminent?!"
Kay Eiffel:"Little did he know that this simple seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death." Harold Crick:"What? What? Hey! Hello?! What?! Why?! Why my death?! Hello?! Excuse me?! When?! How imminent?!"
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Dave, I'm being followed."
Dave:"How are you being followed, you're not moving."
Dr. Jules Hilbert:"I want you to come back friday." Harold Crick:"Ok." Dr. Jules Hilbert:"No, wait a minute. You could be dead by friday."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"How are you going to help me? Hm? You, who never thinks of leaping off buildings. What great inspiration will you bestow on me? Because I'll tell you the quaint ideas I'm sure you've gathered in your adorable career as an assistant are to no avail when faced with killing a man!"
Kay Eiffel:"How are you going to help me? Hm? You, who never thinks of leaping off buildings. What great inspiration will you bestow on me? Because I'll tell you the quaint ideas I'm sure you've gathered in your adorable career as an assistant are to no avail when faced with killing a man!"
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"I'm Penny, I'm Kay's assistant."
Harold Crick:"Oh I'm Harold, her main character."
Penny Escher:"I'm Penny, I'm Kay's assistant." Harold Crick:"Oh I'm Harold, her main character."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"You said I needed visual stimuli."
Penny Escher:"I meant a museum."
Kay Eiffel:"I don't need a museum, I need the infirm."
Penny Escher:"You are the infirm."
Kay Eiffel:"You said I needed visual stimuli." Penny Escher:"I meant a museum." Kay Eiffel:"I don't need a museum, I need the infirm." Penny Escher:"You are the infirm."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"I can't imagine anyone hating you Harold."
Harold Crick:"Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me."
Dr. Jules Hilbert:"I can't imagine anyone hating you Harold." Harold Crick:"Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"I just totally caught some insurance adjuster claiming his jet ski as a work vehicle. I tell you, it's a shame they don't give out an auditor of the year award."
Dave:"I just totally caught some insurance adjuster claiming his jet ski as a work vehicle. I tell you, it's a shame they don't give out an auditor of the year award."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"'Little did he know' means there's something he doesn't know. That means there's something you don't know. Did you know that?"
Dr. Jules Hilbert:"Married?" Harold Crick:"No." Dr. Jules Hilbert:"Ever?" Harold Crick:"Engaged to an auditor. She left me for an actuary."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question?"
Dave:"Sure."
Harold Crick:"If you knew you were gonna die... possibly soon, what would you do?"
Dave:"Well I don't know. Am I the richest man in the world?"
Harold Crick:"No, you're you."
Dave:"Do I have a superpower?"
Harold Crick:"No, you're you."
Dave:"I know I'm me, but do I have a superpower?"
Harold Crick:"No, why would you have a superpower?"
Dave:"I don't know, you said it was hypothetical."
Harold Crick:"Fine, yes, you're really good at math."
Dave:"That's not a power, that's a skill."
Harold Crick:"Okay, you're good at math and you're invisible. And you know you're gonna die."
Dave:"Okay, okay. That's easy, I'd go to space camp."
Harold Crick:"Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question?" Dave:"Sure." Harold Crick:"If you knew you were gonna die... possibly soon, what would you do?" Dave:"Well I don't know. Am I the richest man in the world?" Harold Crick:"No, you're you." Dave:"Do I have a superpower?" Harold Crick:"No, you're you." Dave:"I know I'm me, but do I have a superpower?" Harold Crick:"No, why would you have a superpower?"
Dave:"I don't know, you said it was hypothetical." Harold Crick:"Fine, yes, you're really good at math." Dave:"That's not a power, that's a skill." Harold Crick:"Okay, you're good at math and you're invisible. And you know you're gonna die." Dave:"Okay, okay. That's easy, I'd go to space camp."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"I'm afraid what your describing is Schizophrenia."
Harold Crick:"No. No it's not Schizophrenia. It's just a voice in my head."
Penny Escher:"I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes." Kay Eiffel:"No, they came pre-smoked." Penny Escher:"Yeah they said you were funny."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Big flag burning to get to?"
Ana Pascal:"Actually it's my weekly evil conspiracy and needle point group. Want to come?"
Harold Crick:"I left my thimbles and Socialist reading material at home."
Harold Crick:"Big flag burning to get to?" Ana Pascal:"Actually it's my weekly evil conspiracy and needle point group. Want to come?" Harold Crick:"I left my thimbles and Socialist reading material at home."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"This may sound like gibberish to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy."
Harold Crick:"This may sound like gibberish to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Isn't there some very clear and established rule about fraternization?"
Harold Crick:"Auditor/Auditee protocol?"
Ana Pascal:"Yeah."
Harold Crick:"Yeah, but I don't care."
Ana Pascal:"Why?"
Harold Crick:"Because I want you."
Ana Pascal:"Isn't there some very clear and established rule about fraternization?" Harold Crick:"Auditor/Auditee protocol?" Ana Pascal:"Yeah." Harold Crick:"Yeah, but I don't care." Ana Pascal:"Why?" Harold Crick:"Because I want you."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Is there anyway to see the people who aren't going to get better."
Nurse:"Excuse me?"
Kay Eiffel:"I'd like to see, if at all possible, the one's who aren't going to make it. You know, the 'dead for sure' ones."
Nurse:"I'm sorry, are you suffering from anything?"
Kay Eiffel:"Just writer's block."
Kay Eiffel:"Is there anyway to see the people who aren't going to get better." Nurse:"Excuse me?" Kay Eiffel:"I'd like to see, if at all possible, the one's who aren't going to make it. You know, the 'dead for sure' ones." Nurse:"I'm sorry, are you suffering from anything?" Kay Eiffel:"Just writer's block."
Share this Clip
Share this clip as a link
Embed this Clip
"Sitting in the rain won't write books."
Kay Eiffel:"Well that illustrates exactly how much you know about writing books!"